Yahminah Orr, USA 

Author photo: Yahminah Orr

  Honey, I Am     

  slowly,

  languidly

  trailing everywhere you will have me

  my favorite place,

  warmness

  where you are soft and narrow

  like my first home

  where there was always buzzing from my guardians

  but here it’s different

  I taste you

  all salty wetness

  that lingers on my tongue

  and moistens my fingertips.

  Without Mommy       

  There was this house

  a family house

  not my only family

  but my foster family and I loved them

  I think I loved them

  because they gave me a black child’s car to ride

  that fit my 3 or 4-year-old body

  let my mother give me

  a monkey I always kept around my neck

  with Velcro

  My Mata was a huge woman

  brown-skin and kind

  who fed me platters of rice

  and something on the side

  can’t remember specifics

  but always something different

  her husband had little hair

  a bald spot too

  he wore hats when he worked

  in the backyard

  he was setting up a barbecue space

  but never finished it

  the grill always stood alone

  dusty and dark

  I was happy there

  they fed me peanut butter sandwiches

  let my brother and me play with their grandchildren

  upstairs

  let my mother visit with wild, dry hair

  they even let me have this huge bed

  I was always bouncing on that springy bed

  while Mata folded laundry there

  One time

  my daddy, Mata’s husband

  played with me on that bed

  showed me how good it felt to be played with

  down there

  I wasn’t scared

  --it’s okay he said—

  it was

  then we left the room

  I held my monkey

  showed her what I learned from daddy

  her brown eyes stayed blank

  her black sown-on mouth

  did not smile.

  There’s Something About trying Not to Love   

  i. I am restless, I am always hungry and

  I cannot stop thinking about you

  ii. The persimmons have landed on the floor

  I gather them to see if the bruising is more

  and I cannot stop singing like a bird

  it came easily

  after you reminded me I could

    iii. I tried to tell my ex last night

  I cannot stop giggling when I am with you

  something I used to think was so

  girly

  cannot stop running into the air

  when near me, you are

  iv. energy

  travels through me when you hold me close

  as if some kind of bee is roaming inside me

  from toe to head

  to check on the honey

  After a Shower You Came to Me, Your Hair Dripping

  Dry 

  Sometimes after the rain has brought a new smell to

  the Earth

  after a shower has left water on my skin

  I expect to find you in my room waiting to surprise

  me

  maybe petting your black dog as he sits at your feet

  my room silent except for your smile,

  maybe you are quietly curled, reading Delicate

  Creatures to yourself

  you sit up as I enter, my smile breaks the silence,

  my heart follows suit.

  Where have you been all my days I walked to the

  library

  sunglasses covering sudden tears,

  where have you been all my days I fingered the 3

  moles on my arm

  trying to forget you or remember when your slender

  arms held me,

  your legs tangled with mine?

  I keep hearing you call me when I am sleeping when I

  am waking

  or when I think I am awake

  yet,

  I am still waiting for you

  so I can ask you if your eyes are blue or grey

  so I can tell you, mine are the prettiest brown,

  kind of like dark almonds at the bottom of a sink

  full of clear, cold water

  Did I forget to acknowledge your eyes across a room,

  let go of your

  hand too quickly

  ask for a kiss again too soon, make you think I want

  you gone,

  when all I want, yes, what I want is to watch you

  twirl in your green

  skirts, roll down dewy hills laughing loud, sleeping

  with your arms

  under my pillow, the sun’s light prying at your eyes

  so you will find me memorizing you.

  Where have you been all my days I wanted to run out

  into the rain,

  laughing with the worms on top of the soil

  until they swallow too much water to live

                                    ? 

   Bio:

  I love all shades of purple, and dolphins-especially

  the captive ones

  because they need the most love, and I dream about

  babies twice a week.  I

  live in Santa Fe, New Mexico for most of the year.

  I love it there,

  especially after an unexpected rain has wet our dry

  dry grounds, and makes

  the air smell so goood.  I take a 2-day

  cross-country trip by train to

  return to New York City in the winter and in the

  summer.  I have been

  writing since I was eight and my journal was named

  Elizabeth since I was

  eleven.  I am Yahminah A. K. McDonald