Reflections: March 2009

A Love Note For Us All

We start out talking about the campaign. Usually we relive one moment or another, eyes still aglow with awe. We admit we don’t dig the entire cabinet but we are thrilled about the pay freezes, the Ledbetter act, and the scheduled closing of Guantanamo. And then, after these women friends and I have said all we can say about politics, someone gets a sweetness in her voice and sighs, “Do you see how he looks at her?” “They look so beautiful together.” “Look at the way they treat each other.” My mother put it best during the inauguration when she said, “I love the way they are always reaching for each other.” It’s true. Look at them. And look at us. Without the mutual reaching out, without finding those arms, that hand, that soul, those eyes to steady and support and encourage and inspire and correct, without that shoulder to rest on, where would any of us be?

How many of us are living in pain? In the shadows of relationships that diminish and drain us? How many of us lean back for support only to stumble and catch ourselves realizing that we are alone? Some of us are surrounded and yet, with all the bodies and voices, we are still alone. In my twenties I had relationships that could only be called acts of self-betrayal or spiritual sabotage. I was wounded then and I had to learn that until I embarked on the work of healing and of learning to adore me, I would continue to make a mess of certain areas of my life. One of my most beloved teachers from that period told me, “Your mate is your mirror.” That teaching rocked me.

Since having my children, I have considered and reconsidered the meaning (and the reality) of family, friendship, community, and love. I have many questions, but each night I lay next to one of my most blessed replies.

This is a love note to myself, to us, to you. May our positive reachings be mutual. May the healing we need be forthcoming. May love and respect be reflected in each mirror we encounter.

One love,

Ekere